


One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's all right

by Ren



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-15
Updated: 2010-10-15
Packaged: 2017-10-12 16:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren/pseuds/Ren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen-centric. Lancelot gives her everything Arthur doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's all right

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble written for a commentfic meme. Unbetaed.

He kisses her as if he can't hold back, as if his life depends on it. Nobody else has ever made her feel like this.

Gwen thinks this isn't fair towards Arthur, but she can't hold back either.

Every time, Lancelot gives her a pained look. "I should leave," he says, but he never does. And Gwen never asks him to go or tells him to stop kissing her. She knows that she should, but God help her, she can't.

Instead she buries her fingers in his hair and pulls him closer, willing him not leave her, not him too. Whispers a wordless prayer against his lips

Gwen knows that it's not fair to draw comparisons between him and Arthur but she can't help it. She's spent too many sleepless nights waiting from Arthur's return, too many long days watching her husband rule the kingdom from afar.

Sometimes she thinks that she married a complete stranger.

It's not as if Arthur has ever willfully ignored her. On the rare occasions in which they're together he's always apologizing for his behavior, promising that soon he'll have more free time to spend together. After this tourney, after that treaty is signed, after those villages have been pacified.

He always ends up whisked away by Merlin or another of his advisors for some urgent business that requires the King's immediate presence, leaving Gwen with a quick kiss on the cheek and more unfulfilled promises.

Lancelot is the one who stays behind, always. He might not have the responsibility of a whole kingdom, but he gave up everything he had and all chances to win honour and glory. He gave up his dream to become a knight who'd protect the people to protect his Queen instead.

Arthur rides off knowing that he doesn't need to worry, that Gwen will be safe while he's away. She knows it's not fair but sometimes Gwen wishes that he'd worry, just a bit, just enough to stay with her.

Gwen understands that the kingdom will always come before her, or before anyone else. That's just how Arthur is, and it's why she fell in love with Arthur in the first place.

It's why despite everything else she still loves Arthur, but it's not enough.

So she keeps opening her door to Lancelot, keeps kissing him, keeps whispering his name in the dark. And sometimes she thinks that Arthur knows but doesn't say anything, and that's the worst thing.


End file.
